Insecurity Counselling

Insecurity is defined as:

  • Feeling of not being "good enough" to meet the challenge of a situation you face in life.
  • Sense of helplessness in the face of problems, conflict or concerns. imagesCAJR3CPA.jpg
  • Belief that one is inadequate or incompetent to handle life's challenges.
  • Fear of being discovered as inadequate, ill-fitted or unsuited to meet responsibilities at home, school or on the job.
  • Sense of not fitting in, being "out of sync" with those in your peer group.
  • Perception that life is unpredictable with most of the expectations you have to meet not clearly understood.
  • Sense of always climbing up a mountain, never being able to reach the top.
  • Sense of lacking support or reinforcement where you live, work or play.
  • Results from a sense of being unaccepted, disapproved or rejected.
  • Inner turmoil coming from a lack of direction or bewilderment as to where you are going, what your goals are and what responses are appropriate for events in life.

Insecurity is a feelingof general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving of oneself to be vulnerable in some way, or a sense of vulnerability or instability which threatens one's self image or ego.

AimagesCA41CFLI.jpg person who is insecure lacks confidence in their own value, and one or more of their capabilities, lacks trust in themselves or others, or has fears that a present positive state is temporary, and will let them down and cause them loss or distress by "going wrong" in the future. This is a common trait, which only differs in degree between people.

This is not to be confused with humility, which involves recognizing one's shortcomings but still maintaining a healthy dose of self-confidence. Insecurity is not an objective evaluation of one's ability but an interpretation, as two people with the same capabilities may have entirely different levels of insecurity.

Insecurity may help to cause shyness, paranoia and social withdrawal, or alternatively it may encourage compensatory behaviors such arrogance, aggression, or bullying, in some cases.
The fact that the majority of human beings are emotionally vulnerable, and have the capacity to be hurt, implies that emotional insecurity could merely be a difference in awareness.

Insecurity has many effects in a person's life. There are several levels of it. It nearly always causes some degree of isolation as a typically insecure person withdraws from people to some extent. The greater the insecurity, the higher the degree of isolation becomes. Insecurity is often rooted in a person's childhood years. imagesCA988VSP.jpgLike offense and bitterness, it grows in layered fashion, often becoming an immobilizing force that sets a limiting factor in the person's life. Insecurity robs by degrees; the degree to which it is entrenched equals the degree of power it has in the person's life. As insecurity can be distressing and feel threatening to the psychi, it can often be accompanied by a controlling personality type or avoidence as psychological defence mechanisms.

Through counselling, insecurity can be overcome. We can help you do it. It takes time, patience and a gradual realization that one's own worth is purely a matter of perspective (or subjective opinion) of oneself.

If you live in central or north London, contact us now to find out how our insecurity counselling service can help you overcome this condition. 


Call us today for more information or to arrange a counselling or psychotherapy session in central or north-west London or Elstree (covering Bushey, Radlett, Watford St Albans and the surrounding areas)



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I have never felt good enough but I understand, now, how my hard wiring has been created by my conditioning. Itís very frustrating and doesnít feel far that however much work I have done that it wonít go away completely...

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I have become quite successful as an actor but I suffered panic attacks and a bit of a breakdown after my first breakthrough when I was still quite young. Through understanding why...

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Thank you so much for all your help and guidance and support during a most difficult and confusing time in our lives. You helped us regain clarity and most important helped me believe that we could stay together more healthily...

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Through his incredible insight and caring responses I have learned to reappraise myself and my abilities. I have felt heard, understood and valued, and I cannot begin to describe what a profound effect this can have...

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Malcolm Kirsh saves lives, it is that simple. To have someone alongside who has 30 years of life experience and knows how people behave, as well as why, seems to me to be an essential part of a contented existence...

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